some things change

It is absolutely incredible to look back over the past year and see how drastically different life looks. Some changes were good. Some changes broke my heart. Some changes made me stronger. Some I still don't understand and may never will. But, I can always find comfort in the fact that whatever the change, I know His greater plan is being fulfilled and all these things will work for the good of those who love Him.

I haven't posted in a while, as my sister notified me yesterday so here is an update on my changes:

a. i have a big girl job

2. i am slowly becoming fluent in Spanglish

d. i won the Christmas door decorating contest at work - yes, my door was phenomenal

5. i found out that i am going to get my lactation certification in February (i was randomly picked as one of the dietitians to attend) I can only contribute this to the Lord. Obviously, he thinks I would be the bomb at teaching women to breastfeed. :)

8. one of my bestest friends, lacey, moved out and went home to NC

e. one of my bestest friends, elizabeth, moved in her place

b. i have taken up crocheting and i might not be too terrible at it

4. i have the most awesomest friends and family ever but maybe you already knew that

c. i love Jesus more today than I did yesterday

I think that just about covers it for big changes. No marriage. No babies. No moving. Just sitting back and watching the world change around me and attempting to stay faithful to the changes the Lord has for me. 

Panty hose optional?

September was a loooonnggg month where I really couldn't find joy in much. That doesn't mean that it wasn't there. My eyes were just closed to it. October has been good for my restless heart. He is so faithful to provide in our dark hours-people, prayer, hope. So, that is my summary for not writing for the past month and a half. :)

However, much has happened over the past month. One huge thing was that I died. Okay, I didn't really die but it felt like it. I left my job as a hostess, and I never knew how much people loved me until I was leaving. Sometimes they wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. They always enjoyed food from the kitchen while I stood at the front usually starving. Occasionally, they forgot to let me go to lunch. Overall, I really wasn't sure they cared too much about me at all until the week I was leaving. I thought to myself, "Is this what it is like when people die?" They told me that they were going to miss me so much and that I was the best hostess they ever had (big hairy deal...I know). Leaving is bitter sweet. I will miss the people, but definitely not the hostessing.

The best news is that I started my new job yesterday, and I L-O-V-E it. I have never experienced such a positive work atmosphere that truly cared about their employees. I have my own office with a door AND a lucite door box-for those of you who are confused:

I thank my internship director for teaching me the correct term.

I get to help people all day long. I get an hour for lunch. I get holidays off....all of them. I have an amazing supervisor. I can leave early any day I want as long as I flex my time on other days. But most importantly: 

Can you read that?? Yes, that says "hose are optional."

I have been wearing those puppies for one year and three months now, and I hate them so much! No more panty hose for me! You might be thinking, "Lauren, what are you going to do with all of your old pairs?" Well I have some ideas: make those pets that my Gran use to make using knee highs and googly  eyes, use them as katie and I use to when we wanted to act like robbers and smoosh our faces, sift flour?, strain just about anything....I feel like the possibilities are endless. So, if you were looking to hook me up with some panty hose for Christmas, Mom, maybe you should try underwear instead? 

My very simple joy: no more panty hose. oh and maybe my eyes being opened again. :)

Cupcake and Marriage

When I go into work, I park in a parking garage and walk a couple of blocks to get to the hotel. On my walk, I feel like the same things happen to me every morning. I speed walk across the middle of the streets paying no attention to the nearby crosswalks. I walk over a vent that blows my hair and my skirt up...I still haven't learned. I admire the large painted mural on the side of a building. AND I say hello to two of my precious homeless friends. Usually, I just get a "Good morning sweetheart, how are you?" but today was exceptionally sweet!

Today as I walked past my friend who is sitting on the same bench every morning and every afternoon with his backpack and sleeping bag covered in bird droppings from the trees he is sitting under, he greets me with, "Good morning cupcake, hope you have a good day!" I smiled ear to ear from the time he said that all the way into work. It is weird how simple words can make your day. He called me cupcake! For the past two months I have worked there, he has never called me cupcake!

Then, as I was leaving work today, I passed my other homeless friend, who harassed me for days last month until I  brought him some cheerios and milk. He came walking up to me and followed me halfway to the parking deck trying to convince me to marry him. He made me give him one good reason why I wouldn't marry him. My answer: "Because I don't want to get married." Good answer...I know. He finally turned around after he asked, "Well, can we at least be friends?" I said, "Absolutely." His response was to that, "Okay sweetheart, see you tomorrow morning."

Some tell me to be careful. Some tell me not to talk to them. Some tell me not to give them breakfast. But at the end of the day, these are the people that truly know how to brighten my day. How can I ignore them? I can't.

My simple joy for the day: being loved and cared for by homeless strangers. 

Napping

I am finally no longer a student and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. The list is limitless....

sewing, reading, spending time with people I love,

watching movies, knitting, crafting, running,

playing ultimate frisbee, spending more time with the Lord,

going for walks, cleaning my house, cooking, and let's not forget

NAPPING!

So this picture is from high school....just wanted you to get a visual of me sleeping. :)

Today was the first time in what feels like nearly five years that I took a nap and didn't wake up with my heart racing. I was never able to take naps because every time I did I would wake up with an anxiety that I needed to be somewhere, needed to do something, or that I just didn't deserve a nap. That might seem silly, but it happened to me a lot. I was told that this was a sign of anxiety and obviously it wasn't natural. I would just never give myself grace or cut myself a break. Do you know the saying, "I'm my own worst enemy?" Well, I really am.

I am excited about what this new life looks like for me. More naps. Less anxiety. And more grace for myself.

My simple joy for the day: a nap free from worry.

My People

A close friend of mine from Auburn got married this weekend. It was a great excuse for us to all be together again, and it was amazing community. I was able to spend so much quality time with "my people." I am not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me, but "my people" are those that I don't have to try around. Sometimes it gets exhausting meeting new people and trying so hard to show them who you are, but with these specific people, I can be completely myself without holding anything back.

The Crew

We can:

laugh about very inappropriate things, talk about bodily functions,

cry because another one is married, have our hair played with,

drink too much wine, dance like fools and then,

do a choreographed dance for the all wedding guests,

wrestle a wedding dress in order for someone to go to the restroom,

draw numbers to see who will get married next, talk about our

dreams,

talk about our fears, speak of the Lord often, and

hold tight to memories that made us who we are

And at the end of the night (3:00am), we all know that no matter where we go or who we become we will always have a special place in each others hearts.

O and Liz managed to sneakily make is on my camera

My simple joy for the weekend: my people

Jim Hartman

I moved into a new house this Tuesday and I absolutely LOVE it! It was a bit of a risk signing the lease back in July because the house reeked of cig smoke and looked a little rough. But, we had faith(and vision) and decided to sign!

The house turned out beautifully!!! Not only do I live in an awesome house, I also live with three amazing ladies who I love, annnnd I can talk to from the basement through the ventilation system! :)

Yesterday, we heard a knock on our front door. When we opened the door, there was a sweet man holding a huge bouquet of hydrangeas! It was our sweet neighbor Mr. Jim Hartman, ~60 years of age and retired, welcoming us to the neighborhood with flowers from his garden.

We decided to display our flowers in our Christmas tree window.

And the winner of my simple joy for the day is Mr. Jim Hartman!

A Sweet Question

My best friend since kindergarten, Lauren, got engaged on the 4th of July. I was so excited for her when I got a text message of a hand with a beautiful ring on it telling me that my "La" was engaged. Although I had been asking and expecting it for months now, it totally took me by surprise. And it made me remember all of the times we shared together....

tying our identical (put different colored) coats together in recess.

making up dance routines to "come on ride the train" in mamaw's front yard.

twirling batons together on livingston hill.

making up absurd videos including "candy and katrina's workout video".

riding four wheelers by the carpet shack.

getting sunburned and watching the fireworks at MacFarland on the 4th of July.

getting smashies for/with mamaw.

making pallets on the floor every night with the turtle quilt.

eating pancakes on sunday mornings.

putting water balloons in our bathing suits and jumping on the trampoline.

sliding down the stairs into my basement and putting a whole in the wall.

being co-captains of the majorette squad.

listening to sweetness in starlight and crying as we knew we were leaving for college.

living a few doors down our freshman year of college.

being there for the heart break when the boyfriends were gone-thank goodness.

being there when the husband was found.

So naturally, I might have cried when La handed me this today:

My simple joy for the day: being asked to be the maid of honor in my best la's wedding. Love you, la!